The carpenter's craft...

Every day, things get a little easier. I trust that God knows what is best for me and that He will lead me to be the man he intends me to be. I still think about my lost love on and off throughout the day but the hardest part is night. Each night I spend a few hours praying, reading, and writing this blog. Every night I wake up hour after hour checking the phone, hoping that she has called me and I dream about her being with me. I still long for the day that she calls and says that she wants to go through this life experience with me but I realize that for her, there is a substantial amount of hurt and disappointment, and along with her own fears, it may not be God's will.

I am on a journey to not only find myself and find God, but to learn to trust God's will for me and at the same time, learn what it truly means to follow Him. I am currently reading Radical, a book that emphasizes Jesus' calling to our following Him and what exactly He instructs us to do. This book has changed my life thus far and I am learning so much that now seems so simple and rational, according to basic biblical principles, yet somehow we as Christians tend to overlook. While I am excited to learn what God really means when He says "follow me" yet I am scared because I have lived a life believing in "once saved, always saved". I can only imagine what more there is to find.

Some aspects of the book have me wondering, "How can I really abandon all of my belongings in a modern world? In today's world, I can't necessarily up and sell everything...I wont be able to eat! I understand the basic gist of the lifestyle though so I am planning on donating more of my time, money, and energy to benefit others in the name of God. 

I found myself enjoying the nature around me today. At work, I couldn't stand to stay inside for too long without taking a break to go out and enjoy God's creation. After work, I took my things outside and studied Radical and then spent more time just taking in everything I saw, knowing that God made all of my surroundings with purpose-just like he made me with purpose. 

I pray that this journey may be one, not to bring me to what I thought was a closeness with God, but to what He determines a true relationship. I no longer want to just know God, I want to make Him proud to call me His son.

If I may again, tonight, I would like to ask you to take a moment before closing this page and just touch your screen, touch this blog. First, ask God to bless these words, not only for my own growth, but for the hopeful benefit of a reader out there who may need to see God at work in another life before making the step for change in their own life. Please pray for my strength and my growth as a man of God's will. Please pray for my lost love's growth as a woman of God's will. Finally, if there is some trouble in your walk tonight, pray that God may help you back to the path and use you as and instrument of His design for the benefit of His glory. I will pray for your growth tonight and I will pray that God crafts us together into His own design, rather than our own.